Occupy movement takes over Girl Scout cookie stand
NEW YORK, NY - Organizers of the Occupy Movement have strongly condemned the cookie power structure of the Girl Scout organization. Occupy members are planning protests to raise awareness of what they call, “The Cookie One Percenters.”
“Each year, hard working Girl Scouts are sent out to do the bidding of their corrupt overlords,” said Occupy spokesman Micah Dillon. “They simply put a cute little face on a power structure that is set up to benefit an elite group of cookie barons who play by their own rules. We believe it is time for the 99% to let them know they will no longer be satisfied with cookie crumbs.”
The Occupy movement is currently working on plans to place protestors in and around the world of Girl Scout cookies. Several hundred protestors have already begun camping at the Girl Scouts of America home office in Washington, DC. “We will not leave until each demand we come up with is met,” said protester Lee Tierney. “Then we will come up with some more demands, and we want those to be met too. Our first demand is simple, we want some Tagalongs brought out here to us immediately. We’re all pretty sick of the granola and veggie tacos.”
Other protests are expected to take place outside of the lobby of grocery stores where the girl scouts are permitted to sell the cookies, and even some door to door protests where the girls will be followed from home to home. Protestors will then sit on the front steps of the home and drown out the sales pitches with chanting.
Independent audits have shown that tens of millions of dollars in revenue are created by the cookie sales each year. “We think all of America should be disgusted by the fact that a select few are making millions from these sales,” Dillon went on to say. “Yet for her effort, the average girl scout who sells them receives a small cloth patch in return. The patch is not even sewn on to her uniform for her, she has to do it herself.”
- This article republished by popular demand
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