New parking revenue will pay for museum honoring great moments in Cincinnati parking history
CINCINNATI, OH - As the city of Cincinnati moves forward with plans that will increase revenue from parking, City Council has announced that the new revenue is already earmarked for a large project. Parking revenue will be funneled into a Cincinnati Parking Museum, where great moments in Cincinnati parking history will be honored.
“This is a project that will someday pay for itself,” said city councilman PG Sittenfeld. “People from all around the country will plan their summer vacations around trips to the Cincinnati Parking Museum. We’re already talking to the downtown hotels about offering packages. I know that when I was a kid, if I had asked Mom and Dad to take me on an adventure to a parking museum, they would have jumped on it in a second, especially if I whined for a few hours. That’s how I got to go to space camp.”
The 30,000 square foot museum will be located in the newly created ‘CPM District” of Over the Rhine, where city planners expect a host of new development around the Cincinnati Parking Museum. “This is a great opportunity for other new development,” said city planner Marcus Pohl. “After a long day of perusing the City of Cincinnati’s long, storied parking history, visitors will be ready to go out and have dinner and a drink or two. Or, maybe lots of drinks. Like enough to leave them fully intoxicated for days.”
The museum’s many exhibits will include some interactive life size displays of famous Cincinnati parking moments. “It will all be in there,” said museum curator Dennis Wall. “A live recreation of Jeff Ruby parallel parking his car in front of Bootsy’s Night Club. The original rasta wig worn by Mayor Mark Mallory when he pretended to be a meter reader on “Undercover Boss.” And, a large tribute to the parking spot where Jerry Springer used to entertain young ladies in his car next to City Hall.”
The planning for the museum is almost complete, and the projected revenues from increased parking rates and fines are expected to cover most of the museums startup costs. “This is going to be a grand structure,” Wall went on to explain. “Several city blocks of nothing but parking history. Almost everything is figured out now, except we just realized that we may not have provided enough room for people to park.”
- Delta Airlines finds Wright Brothers’ lost luggage
- National self-esteem convention not good enough
- Hoffbrau Haus upgrading to even better polka music
- Jeff Ruby breaks thirty second media silence to appear on Food Network
- Anthony Munoz eats Furniture Fair guy.
- Pete Rose signs contract with FOX, agrees not to bet on American Idol