Jeff Ruby breaks thirty second media silence to appear on Food Network
CINCINNATI, OH - Following an unprecedented 30 seconds in which Cincinnati restauranteur Jeff Ruby swore off the media, Mr. Ruby broke free of his reclusive ways to appear on The Food Network’s “Chef Wanted with Anne Burrell.”
Ruby initially announced his media boycott a room of fawning members of the media. “I hereby declare that I would like to be left in solitude. My family and I need ” Thirty seconds of shocked gasps followed the announcement, while Ruby stood behind the podium and refused to take questions. When the half minute was up, the room immediately filled with a TV crew from The Food Network set to film their next edition of Chef Wanted.
“Well, what a glorious surprise,” exclaimed Ruby as he positioned all 24 of the cameras on himself. “I suppose I owe it to the world to participate in the crowning of a new chef. It would certainly be a shame if the hiring of a new chef took place in the horrible olden ways of using resumes and interviews. Thank goodness reality television has made our lives simpler.”
The thirty second media silence was soon forgotten, and the rest of the day proceeded with the filming of the Chef Wanted program. Having successfully lived through his thirty second media silence, Ruby is currently seeking a network to turn the thirty seconds of silence into a full length dramatic movie.
- Injured casino workers offered free buffet vouchers
- McRib's return bolsters US sodium content by 500%
- Joel Osteen purchases Catholicism in time for Easter
- Charlie Rose Show ratings unchanged when network accidentally airs footage of empty set.
- Halloween Express announces sweeping layoffs again
- Workers seek new ways to waste time after NCAA tournament ends