Former OSU President Gordon Gee kicks off Ohio church festival tour
COLUMBUS, OH – Controversial former OSU President Gordon Gee has announced his retirement celebration will take the form of a tour of Catholic Church festivals throughout Ohio. A press release from Dr. Gee’s office states tour will be entitled ‘The 2013 Those Damn Catholics Tour’ and is set to begin immediately.
In a press conference off campus Gee said, “I’m proud to announce my upcoming tour. I’ll be raising holy hell with every damn Catholic I meet. Let the drinking and gambling begin! We called it the ‘Those Damn Catholics Tour’ because that phrase seems to be defining the legacy of my 40 year career in education.“
Gee also announced when the tour is complete he hopes to add another leg to his traveling retirement celebration. “After I’m done with those damn Catholics I’d like to swing by UofL and UK to say hi to all my Kentucky friends. They haven’t returned my phone calls yet so they must be busy learning how to read or something. Ha I’m just kidding about that!”
A spokesperson for Dr. Gee says negotiations are underway to possibly include several celebrities on the tour. Reportedly, discussions are underway with actor Charlie Sheen, former radio announcer Don Imus, and former FOX NEWS anchor Rick Sanchez.
- Tricia Macke wins 45th consecutive regional Emmy for tanning
- Stuck lunar exploration rover calls OnStar
- Monroe Hustler store thankful to be spared from God's wrath
- Man under house arrest inconvenienced by Homearama visitors
- Verizon unlimited family sexting plan successful in Kentucky
- Joel Osteen purchases Catholicism in time for Easter