Everyone finally files suit against everyone else
CINCINNATI - US litigation activity reached a new peak this week when courts throughout the United States became overwhelmed as everyone finally initiated a class action suit against everyone else. Court records indicate everyone who purchased, used, owned, consumed, borrowed, leased, or stole anything has filed suit against everyone who produced, sold, loaned, marketed, serviced, manufactured, processed, or advertised anything. Attorney for the defendant said, "This is clearly an underhanded legal maneuver aimed at exploiting the entrepreneurial nature of everyone else. My client, everyone else, is strongly considering my counsel to file an immediate counter suit against everyone. Attorney for the plaintiff, Stan Chesley said, "My client has been subjected to the greedy and corrupt practices of everyone else for many years. I fully expect my client will prevail in this case."
- Local Police confused and alarmed by government’s Donut Call list.
- Hoffbrau Haus upgrading to even better polka music
- New Pope taking leave of absence to launch new blog at SXSW
- Preparing for prison life, Martha Stewart makes elegant improvements to prison uniform.
- Going postal now limited to Mon-Fri
- Open-air mall planned inside Tri-County Mall