Hoffbrau Haus upgrading to even better polka music
NEWPORT, KY - The Hoffbrau Haus in Northern Kentucky known for its lively German polka music will soon transform its music playlist into a noticeably improved assortment of German polka music. Owners of the popular establishment say low quality polka songs such as, "Icht Bien Der Frau" will be replaced with higher quality polkas such as "Der Freibenhecht Zeiben Schuft".
Owners would like customers to know they will never again be subjected to songs like "Muchen Breunn Drie Finf" or "Lieben Zinter Schluben Dost". Instead patrons will be treated to more prestigious selections including the ever popular "Das Zeiben Schlecter Grushtoff".
- Charlie Rose Show ratings unchanged when network accidentally airs footage of empty set.
- Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
- Local Police confused and alarmed by government’s Donut Call list.
- Everyone finally files suit against everyone else
- Santa’s reindeer replaced with hydrogen fuel cells
- 700 WLW shifts focus of billboard campaign to Canadians