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Cincinnati creates anti-flower pot violence downtown task force

CINCINNATI, OH - In a move that pro-flower pot activists have been demanding for several years, the city of Cincinnati has begun to take action. The city has created an anti-flower pot violence downtown task force, which will patrol the streets hoping to put a chill on the flower pot violence.

“We commend the Mayor for finally taking action,” said activist and former City Council member Jim Tarbell. “For many years, I thought that it would be my voice alone, crying out in the distance, trying to calm the flower pot aggressive. Luckily, others have joined me in my quest. Now if I could just get more people to join me in fighting the voices in my head, and that three headed monster who hides in my closet. One step at a time.”

The task force will be community driven and walk a beat. In this way, they believe they will be able to forge strong relationships in the neighborhood with both the flower pots, and those who prey upon the flower pots. “A big part of the problem is flower pots who don’t trust authority,” said task force member Chris Stein. “We want the flower pots to know that if they see suspicious, anti-flower pot activity...that they can come to us in safety. Too often, they are the victims of intimidation. Some specifically repeat the phrase that flower pot snitches get terra cotta stitches. We seek to end this.”

The anti-flower pot presence in the area has been on the rise of late, and turning more violent. What started as occasional littering or urinating in a flower pot has turned to increasingly more violent assaults. “We have had to say goodbye to too many,” said local business owner Keith Shepard. “Too many have gone, too young. Kicked over and smashed, sometimes several of them in a matter of just a minute. Sometimes the sound of smashing flower pots gets so loud down here you can barely hear the homicides taking place two blocks away.”