Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
CINCINNATI - The Gorilla Glue company warned retailers this week to expect product shipping delays this holiday season due to limited availability of the productís key ingredient dead gorillas. The manufacturer located on Redbank Road explained the growing season for gorillas this year was stunted due to unfortunate rain forest weather shifts that impacted the gorilla food source. Gorilla harvesting is expected to increase next year allowing a return to profitability in businesses that depend on dead gorillas as the primary raw material.
- Douche bags praise Starbucks price cuts
- WKRC Local 12 wins Regional Emmy for excellence in scrolling school closings
- Ousted GM CEO appointed top position at AIG
- Delta Airlines hires extra holiday workers to lose luggage
- US Government receives credit card offer from Evendale Credit Union
- Underground drug ring busted in Hyde Park nursing home