Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
CINCINNATI - The Gorilla Glue company warned retailers this week to expect product shipping delays this holiday season due to limited availability of the productís key ingredient dead gorillas. The manufacturer located on Redbank Road explained the growing season for gorillas this year was stunted due to unfortunate rain forest weather shifts that impacted the gorilla food source. Gorilla harvesting is expected to increase next year allowing a return to profitability in businesses that depend on dead gorillas as the primary raw material.
- Stuck lunar exploration rover calls OnStar
- Boss gets strange looks after telling workers he is in love with them
- Tom unhappy with new Facebook design
- Monroe Hustler store thankful to be spared from God's wrath
- BP asks oil-soaked birds to return oil at authorized reclamation centers
- Local gangs integrate CinWeekly logo in gang graffiti