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Tuesday, May 21st - 6:00 PM-2:30 AM
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DERF Happy Hour
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International Star Registry runs out of stars, launches International Grain of Sand Registry.
NEW YORK - Rocky Moselle, Spokesman for the international Star Registry, reported this week star names for all of the stars in the universe were sold out during this busy Christmas shopping season. Because experts believed the star inventory in the universe was infinite, the company was shocked by this sudden inventory depletion. In response to this crisis, the International Star Registry has announced plans to launch a new venture entitled, "International Grain of Sand Registry" which will allow the same gullible customer base to purchase and copyright a name for a grain of sand somewhere on earth. Also being market tested is the, "International Blade of Grass Registry".
- Local Police confused and alarmed by government’s Donut Call list.
- Starbucks strip mall nears completion
- SNOW EMERGENCY: Area girlfriends unable to return stuffed Valentine’s bears to CVS
- Injured casino workers offered free buffet vouchers
- Trapped gay coal miner hoped for slower rescue
- Panera boasts most extensive bread-oriented art collection in U.S.





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