Hacker inadvertently designs malicious virus that corrects most Microsoft bugs.

REDMOND, WA - Humiliated computer hacker Michael Arkison expressed regret this week after taking responsibility for developing a computer virus that was meant to attack the popular windows XP operating system but unintentionally corrected over 5,000 known Microsoft bugs in every computer the virus infected.

Although Microsoft Engineers tried unsuccessfully to correct these bugs for a five year period prior to the release of the software, sixteen year-old Arkison began creating the virus in his parents home while watching the X games last summer.

Deeply embarrassed by his sloppy programming errors, Arkison stated he is shaken by the incident and vowed to pay more attention to detail in the future. In a public message to hackers around the world, Arkison apologized for his lack of discipline and pledged to make more productive use of his talent. 

Arkison also reassured the global hacking community that he has no intention of accepting the employment offer made to him by Microsoft this week.