Corpse found wrapped in KEEP CINCINNATI BEAUTIFUL banner
CINCINNATI – In an ironic twist this week, workers at the Center for Urban Renewal on Sycamore Street in Over-The-Rhine discovered a corpse in the alley behind the building wrapped in a large KEEP CINCINNATI BEAUTIFUL vinyl banner.
District One Police Officers who responded to the scene said it is common for murder victims to be wrapped in material such as carpet or plastic sheeting. Last year several bodies were discovered wrapped in DON’T TRASH THE ‘NATI banners.
Executive Director of the Keep Cincinnati Beautiful campaign, Linda Holterhoff commented, “We urge Cincinnati’s murderers to use other materials for wrapping dead bodies. Our banners are intended to represent positive civic action. Associating our banners with dead bodies is a setback for us.”
To raise awareness of this issue, Holterhoff has ordered new banners for a secondary campaign entitled, “Don’t Wrap Dead Bodies in Keep Cincinnati Beautiful Banners.” The banners for this campaign will be displayed prominently throughout the city. Holterhoff warned that wrapping a body in these new banners will be devastating for the program.
City Council Officials have agreed to cooperate with the initiative by making used carpet available at local community centers for murderers who need wrapping material for dead bodies.
- BP works to clean oil spill, makes no promises on station restrooms
- Amazon Kindle named top gift for spouses out of ideas
- Apple draws criticism for delayed release of Steve Jobs 2
- Oscar Meyer awarded Nobel Prize for meat extrusion
- Workers seek new ways to waste time after NCAA tournament ends
- In Memory of Dave Thomas, Wendy’s Announces All Chili Servings Will Be Sprinkled With a Pinch of Dave’s Remains… While Supplies Last.