Corpse found wrapped in KEEP CINCINNATI BEAUTIFUL banner
CINCINNATI – In an ironic twist this week, workers at the Center for Urban Renewal on Sycamore Street in Over-The-Rhine discovered a corpse in the alley behind the building wrapped in a large KEEP CINCINNATI BEAUTIFUL vinyl banner.
District One Police Officers who responded to the scene said it is common for murder victims to be wrapped in material such as carpet or plastic sheeting. Last year several bodies were discovered wrapped in DON’T TRASH THE ‘NATI banners.
Executive Director of the Keep Cincinnati Beautiful campaign, Linda Holterhoff commented, “We urge Cincinnati’s murderers to use other materials for wrapping dead bodies. Our banners are intended to represent positive civic action. Associating our banners with dead bodies is a setback for us.”
To raise awareness of this issue, Holterhoff has ordered new banners for a secondary campaign entitled, “Don’t Wrap Dead Bodies in Keep Cincinnati Beautiful Banners.” The banners for this campaign will be displayed prominently throughout the city. Holterhoff warned that wrapping a body in these new banners will be devastating for the program.
City Council Officials have agreed to cooperate with the initiative by making used carpet available at local community centers for murderers who need wrapping material for dead bodies.
- Nyquil introduces Cold & Ebola formula
- Brian Williams uses teleprompter during family dinners
- Area teacher copes with plummeting self-esteem after failing to seduce student
- US Government receives credit card offer from Evendale Credit Union
- Cincinnati criminals consider offers to relocate to Detroit
- Census Bureau outsources canvassing duties to Jehovah Witnesses