Neighbors object to Wal-Mart Space Station
OUTER SPACE - Neighbors in outer space gathered this week at a community meeting to voice objections to the newly proposed Wal-Mart space station store. The new store would be the first retail facility of its kind in the universe. Wal-Mart executives say if things go as planned the facility is expected to begin orbiting the sun in early 2009.
Neighbors say studies conducted by several planets indicate the facility would create intergalactic traffic congestion for a several light year radius around the store. "Residents in nearly every star system will be held up by Wal-Mart traffic. With black holes and meteors already frustrating space travelers daily, the last thing we need is another huge obstacle getting in everyone’s way." said an angry resident.
Wal-Mart contends its new space station store is needed to provide consumers in several galaxies with better value on a wide variety of household products. A Wal-Mart spokesperson commented, "We will work with every star system to help regulate traffic patterns in order to avoid many of the problems we cause on Earth." Other proponents argue the Wal-Mart space station would provide a much needed tax base for the galaxy.
- Panera boasts most extensive bread-oriented art collection in U.S.
- Nyquil introduces Cold & Ebola formula
- Gnomes uncertain how to count selves in Census
- Faulty Boeing 787s retrofitted for Cincinnati Streetcar duty
- Boss gets strange looks after telling workers he is in love with them
- Census Bureau outsources canvassing duties to Jehovah Witnesses