Miami University offers self-tanning curriculum
OXFORD, OH - Following the examples of several schools around the country, Miami University has instituted self-tanning as a field of study. The University plans to become a world leader in self-tanning academia.
Even before the decision was made to add self-tanning curriculum, Miami has been known for a well bronzed student body, seemingly year round. “We’ve been telling people we’re the Harvard of the Midwest for a long time now,” proclaimed University Trustee Dr. Richard Herzog. “Maybe now we can try calling ourselves the UCLA of the Midwest or the Florida State of the Midwest or perhaps the Miami of the Midwest. That just might stick.”
The self-tanning study program will be an intense look at all forms of artificial tans, with particular areas of concentration in gels, lotions, powders and aerosols. There have been no decisions made on hiring staff, but it is expected that the new department will be taught by experts from the world of cosmetology as well as adjunct professors of bronzer from the Home Shopping Network.
To celebrate the new program, Miami is considering changing the school color to orange. There have also been rumors that upcoming commencement addresses will be delivered by guest speaker George Hamilton.
- Apple draws criticism for delayed release of Steve Jobs 2
- Cincinnati criminals consider offers to relocate to Detroit
- Area vagrants devastated by pet food tainting
- Fountain Square video screen to begin showing gunfire instant replay
- Eskimo melts igloo to avoid bank repossession
- Streetcar tracks on sale at City of Cincinnati Black Friday sale