LOCAL 12 announces upgrade to Precision Gaydar 12 HD
CINCINNATI, OH - After the massive breakdown of Precision Gaydar 12, Channel 12 News has announced the switch to an upgraded system, The Precision Gaydar 12 HD. The new system features the most advanced gaydar system currently available and includes the sophisticated AccuGay 3000 module.
The need for a new system became apparent after the Precision Gaydar 12 suffered a massive malfunction during a live broadcast of Good Morning Cincinnati. Anchor John Lomax was interviewing members of the Village People prior to their appearance at Hollywood Casino when the machine began making a loud noise and then burst into flames. It is the first known incident of a flaming gaydar.
“I’m not sure what was going on,” said LOCAL 12 producer Jerry Riggs. “It had been acting funny every week during the ‘Dance Party Friday’ segment, but nothing like this.”
Officials at Channel 12 thought about simply repairing the system, but decided that a new unit was the best way to go. “This move should serve notice to our viewers that LOCAL 12 is committed to being the tri-state leader in gaydar technology,” said WKRC-TV spokesman Arnold Danson. “Our viewers can now count on advanced high definition gaydar featuring AccuGay 3000 technology whenever they need it.”
- Tetanus outbreak linked to Rusty Bucket
- Chia Pets often euthanized after novelty wears off
- Girl Scout Cookie feeding-tube boosts profits
- Joel Osteen purchases Catholicism in time for Easter
- Catholic Priests provide security checks for kids at airport check-in lines
- Ousted GM CEO appointed top position at AIG