Tetanus outbreak linked to Rusty Bucket
CINCINNATI, OH - A sharp rise in tetanus cases has been linked to The Rusty Bucket restaurant and tavern. Health officials have confirmed that the unique rustiness of the restaurant has spawned an outbreak of the disease in the Tri-State.
Rusty Bucket officials have been unavailable for comment due to a condition known as lockjaw, a common side effect of tetanus.
First responders from the local Center for Disease Control may also have contracted tetanus after arriving at the scene. Reportedly prior to starting the onsite investigation, the CDC team enjoyed the Tuesday Beef Stroganoff special.
The 80’s cover band, The Rusty Griswolds, denied reports this week the band may be linked to the tetanus outbreak. A band spokesman said The Rusty Griswolds have never knowingly spread the tetanus virus either by visiting The Rusty Bucket or other means.
- General Electric innovates ultra-neutral employee holiday greeting card.
- Gorilla Glue production halted due to worldwide shortage of dead gorillas.
- Jeff Ruby breaks thirty second media silence to appear on Food Network
- UDF fruit juice slowly evaporating since 1994
- R.P. McMurphy's unveils 900 car parking garage
- Jeff Ruby sells Waterfront restaurant to BB Riverboats