Water fowl assist in cleanup of Dawn dishwashing liquid tanker spill
BATON ROUGE, LA - Following the disastrous tanker spill which resulted in thousands of gallons of Dawn dishwashing liquid spilling into the ocean, area water fowl have mobilized to help in the clean-up effort.
Thousands of ducks, cranes, and seagulls have been arriving at the sight of the spill ever since the dishwashing liquid tanker the USS Dawn ran aground just off the Louisiana coast. The birds have been systematically diving into the dishwashing liquid tainted waters in an effort to soak up as much of the soap as possible.
“It may be an evolutionary occurrence that various water birds now enjoy being coated in Dawn dishwashing liquid,” explained animal behaviorist Marvin Staples. “Because generations of birds have been coated with Dawn as a result of various oil spills, many species now see Dawn as a necessary part of their ecosystem.”
Dawn dishwashing liquid officials have offered to pay for the company’s share of the cleanup. Local water fowl have not yet asked for compensation, but it is expected that they will demand up to 500 billion dollars in smelt and herring for their trouble.
- Local Police confused and alarmed by government’s Donut Call list.
- Shocking amount of porn found in rubble of Gamble House
- Toby Keith’s restaurant leads way in toothless cuisine
- Last subscriber to Cincinnati Enquirer print edition enters hospice
- Faulty Boeing 787s retrofitted for Cincinnati Streetcar duty
- Internet eliminates third shift to reduce costs