Trapped gay coal miner hoped for slower rescue
SAN JOSE, CHILE - As workers completed rescue of the Chilean miners trapped since August, at least one of the workers expressed disappointment that the ordeal had ended. Homosexual miner Tad Guitierez told the rescue workers that life trapped in the mine was “fabulous.”
“I just want everyone to know that things down there were fine,” said Tad in a note. “Sometimes the temperature got hot, but we just took our shirts off. Other times, it got cold, so I encouraged everyone to huddle together tightly wth me in the middle. Then we played some Lady Gaga music and it was more like a packed nightclub than a crisis.”
Despite Tad’s request to delay the rescue, rescuers still extracted the workers. Upon the arrival of the rescue capsule, Tad suggested all the miners ride together naked to reduce the capsule weight.
- New Jesus statue stuck in Wapakoneta McDonald’s drive thru en route to Monroe
- Delta to open outlet shopping mall in empty concourses
- Anthony Munoz eats Furniture Fair guy.
- Struggling retailers welcome holiday shoplifters
- Jeff Ruby clarifies restaurant admittance policies
- Krohn Conservatory reports dismal ringtone sales