Trapped gay coal miner hoped for slower rescue
SAN JOSE, CHILE - As workers completed rescue of the Chilean miners trapped since August, at least one of the workers expressed disappointment that the ordeal had ended. Homosexual miner Tad Guitierez told the rescue workers that life trapped in the mine was “fabulous.”
“I just want everyone to know that things down there were fine,” said Tad in a note. “Sometimes the temperature got hot, but we just took our shirts off. Other times, it got cold, so I encouraged everyone to huddle together tightly wth me in the middle. Then we played some Lady Gaga music and it was more like a packed nightclub than a crisis.”
Despite Tad’s request to delay the rescue, rescuers still extracted the workers. Upon the arrival of the rescue capsule, Tad suggested all the miners ride together naked to reduce the capsule weight.
- Engineers plan Central Parkway Ironic Beard Lane
- Rumpke reports record intake of discarded NCAA pool brackets
- Jeff Ruby sells Waterfront restaurant to BB Riverboats
- Hacker inadvertently designs malicious virus that corrects most Microsoft bugs.
- Gap t-shirt becomes vintage 48 hours after leaving Taiwan factory.
- In Memory of Dave Thomas, Wendy’s Announces All Chili Servings Will Be Sprinkled With a Pinch of Dave’s Remains… While Supplies Last.