Fountain Square video screen to begin showing gunfire instant replay
CINCINNATI, OH - In hopes of drawing more people downtown to enjoy all the city has to offer, the video screen on Fountain Square has announced an exciting new feature. The screen is equipped show slow motion instant replays of all shootings that take place in the immediate area.
“We are very excited to bring this feature to the square,” said director of Fountain Square video operations Thom Carmack. “Fountain Square is Cincinnati’s living room, and what better way to spend a day than sitting in your living room watching all of the surrounding gunplay on a giant TV.”
The new promise of instant replays of area gunfire is already a hit with some local families. The Myersons of Western Hills have planned a day around watching the action. “Finally, something we can gather as a family to watch,” said father Cliff Myerson. “Watching Reds and Bengals games is just too depressing, but watching gunfire is not only exciting, but an educational opportunity for the kids. They’ll be getting their conceal carry permits in a few years.”
In addition to adding instant replays of area gunfire, Fountain Square will also embrace the exciting nature of gunfire in other ways. Local vendors will be on hand selling guns and ammunition, and providing play by play during some of the slow motion instant replay analysis. They will point out proper techniques and offer pointers on how the gunfire could have been more effective. Rock Bottom Brewery also plans to sell beer on the square, served in collectable 32 ounce bullet proof steins.
- Convicted former Enron CEO announces plans to make convicted former Tyco CEO his bitch.
- Halloween Express announces sweeping layoffs again
- Hacker inadvertently designs malicious virus that corrects most Microsoft bugs.
- Faulty Boeing 787s retrofitted for Cincinnati Streetcar duty
- New Jesus statue stuck in Wapakoneta McDonald’s drive thru en route to Monroe
- Lakota school district students well prepared for West Chester’s many dishwasher jobs