Shares of Facebook stock available at Big Lots
CINCINNATI, OH - Executives of Big Lots announced this week the chain of discount stores will begin carrying deeply discounted shares of Facebook. Shares of the troubled social media network will be available at a two-for-one price in discount bins located throughout each store.
“We’re placing shares of Facebook in the discount bins that contain a variety of our most deeply discounted merchandise such as defective garden hoses and electronics equipment from the 1990s.” said Big Lots CEO Steven S. Fishman. “This is a neat opportunity for our customers to own a product that will soon have value only in sentimental terms. This is similar to our cute garden gnomes which are purchased by people not seeking a monetary return.“
In response to reports that some of the shares may be fake, Big Lots officials say the reports are probably true. Facebook recently admitted almost 100 million Facebook users are fake so the same could be true for the publicly traded Facebook shares. Nevertheless Big Lots officials say it can’t hurt to pick up a few shares for the sake of nostalgia while loading up on discontinued school supplies and surplus Snuggies.
- Area church gives up religion for more profitable church festival business
- Marlboro to introduce Think Pink Breast Cancer Awareness packaging
- Retailers announce thirty whore shopping days until Halloween
- Joel Osteen purchases Catholicism in time for Easter
- Bullet holes in J. Alexander's restaurant declared official tourist attraction.
- Fiat offers free Chrysler dealership with every car purchase