Jeff Ruby breaks thirty second media silence to appear on Food Network
CINCINNATI, OH - Following an unprecedented 30 seconds in which Cincinnati restauranteur Jeff Ruby swore off the media, Mr. Ruby broke free of his reclusive ways to appear on The Food Network’s “Chef Wanted with Anne Burrell.”
Ruby initially announced his media boycott a room of fawning members of the media. “I hereby declare that I would like to be left in solitude. My family and I need ” Thirty seconds of shocked gasps followed the announcement, while Ruby stood behind the podium and refused to take questions. When the half minute was up, the room immediately filled with a TV crew from The Food Network set to film their next edition of Chef Wanted.
“Well, what a glorious surprise,” exclaimed Ruby as he positioned all 24 of the cameras on himself. “I suppose I owe it to the world to participate in the crowning of a new chef. It would certainly be a shame if the hiring of a new chef took place in the horrible olden ways of using resumes and interviews. Thank goodness reality television has made our lives simpler.”
The thirty second media silence was soon forgotten, and the rest of the day proceeded with the filming of the Chef Wanted program. Having successfully lived through his thirty second media silence, Ruby is currently seeking a network to turn the thirty seconds of silence into a full length dramatic movie.
- Oscar Meyer awarded Nobel Prize for meat extrusion
- R.P. McMurphy's unveils 900 car parking garage
- Local Police confused and alarmed by government’s Donut Call list.
- Bullet holes in J. Alexander's restaurant declared official tourist attraction.
- Margaritaville men's rooms feature lawn instead of urinals
- Rumpke reports record intake of discarded NCAA pool brackets