Tetanus outbreak linked to Rusty Bucket
CINCINNATI, OH - A sharp rise in tetanus cases has been linked to The Rusty Bucket restaurant and tavern. Health officials have confirmed that the unique rustiness of the restaurant has spawned an outbreak of the disease in the Tri-State.
Rusty Bucket officials have been unavailable for comment due to a condition known as lockjaw, a common side effect of tetanus.
First responders from the local Center for Disease Control may also have contracted tetanus after arriving at the scene. Reportedly prior to starting the onsite investigation, the CDC team enjoyed the Tuesday Beef Stroganoff special.
The 80’s cover band, The Rusty Griswolds, denied reports this week the band may be linked to the tetanus outbreak. A band spokesman said The Rusty Griswolds have never knowingly spread the tetanus virus either by visiting The Rusty Bucket or other means.
- Nyquil introduces Cold & Ebola formula
- Fiat offers free Chrysler dealership with every car purchase
- STUDY: 91% of blogger avatars too flattering
- McRib's return bolsters US sodium content by 500%
- Gnomes uncertain how to count selves in Census
- Retailers announce thirty whore shopping days until Halloween