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classics News

Family growing weary of Dadís obsession with sarcasm

MT. LOOKOUT - The wife and children of Paul Lanner say they love him but are very disturbed and confused by his overly sarcastic response in almost every family interaction. Last week when eight year old Ryan Lanner asked if the family could order a pizza for dinner, Mr. Lanner said, "Of course! Why donít we just buy the whole pizza store, OK? Then little Ryan can have pizza every night while the rest of us have regular food." When 11 year old daughter Susie asked if she could sleep over her friend's house, Lanner answered, "Well why wouldn't you?! We only have a bed and a bedroom here for you just in case there is ever a slight possibility you might want to sleep here some night. But who cares about thatÖthe important thing is that little Susie getís to sleep wherever she wants!" Early in little league baseball season this year, Ryan enthusiastically told his father he hit a homerun and his father replied in an unexcited tone, "Oh gosh. Really? Iím so happy I'm jumping up and down. See, this is me jumping up and down because Ryan hit a homer. Yay." This has been the tone of interaction in the Lanner household for years. When Mr. Lanner's wife expressed her disappointment with this behavior, he responded, "Well gee honey, why don't I just change every little aspect of my entire personality so that you and the kids can like me more?"