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DERF Happy Hour
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Big Bird Flu ravages large bird puppet community.
The World Health Organization issued an epidemic flu warning to large bird puppets this week. The Big Bird Flu virus is spreading rapidly within the large bird puppet community which includes mostly entertainment puppets and popular sports mascots. Currently in quarantine and under close watch are several prominent large bird puppets including Big Bird, the Atlanta Hawks mascot, and the Philadelphia Eagles mascot. Many college and high school mascots around the country are also being monitored closely. The virus vaccination, which comes in the form of an oversized colorful Nerf syringe, is now available but officials urge large bird puppets to visit vaccination centers during non-peak hours to avoid long lines and unnecessary conflict between rival puppets.
Heroic Eden Park resident frees captive butterflies from Krohn Conservatory
MTV's Jersey Shore star Ronnie passes miraculous kidney stone that closely resembles Snooki
Tension mounts as Angelina Jolie attempts to adopt Kim Jong-un
James Van Der Beek feels cold reality of another year without an Academy Award
Ted Nugent puts Downton Abbey DVRs on hold to attend State of the Union
- Sarah Palin gives away cars, books, and bastard children on Oprah
- Norwood Fashion Week features latest trends in jean shorts
- Gangsta of love to be sentenced, Space Cowboy still at large
- Channel 5 wins regional Emmy for excellence in snow shoveling tips
- NASA celebrates 40th anniversary of faking moon landing
- Lack of Oprah and Casey Anthony on TV drives housewives to alcoholism





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