Pharrell’s hat launches tour with Susan Boyle's eyebrows
LOS ANGELES, CA - Citing ‘artistic differences’ Pharrell’s hat has decided to pursue some solo projects. Pharrell’s hat will kick off this new venture by going on a world wide tour with Susan Boyle’s eyebrows.
The tour will kick off in London, and the two featured performance will swap top billing back and forth each night. “They’ve truly put their egos to the side,” said entertainment reporter Rex Manning. “Susan’s eyebrows have been in the spotlight for many years now so the case could be made that they are the headliner. Then again, Pharrell’s hat has actually been in show business even longer, dating back to it’s first appearance in the mid-90’s portraying the Urban Sombrero on Seinfeld.”
“May God smile on this holy union,” said Boyle’s manager Sir Edward Leatherington. “Ms. Boyle’s eyebrows have proven themselves to be showstoppers at performances in venues around the world. Joined on stage with Pharrell William’s hat, the result is going to something not seen in the entertainment industry for decades. The only comparison in recent memory that comes to mind is when Kenny Roger’s beard went on tour with Dolly Parton’s left breast.”
There will be several surprise appearances by other performers on the tour, and they are doing there best to keep them secret. “I cannot confirm or deny any of the rumors,” said Leatherington. “However, I will admit that we did just have some lengthy and productive discussions with the mole over Aaron Neville’s right eye.”
- Jennifer Lopez buys chain of hardware stores.
- America needs time to process the 96-page USA TODAY Michael Jackson commemorative edition before next celebrity death
- Kanye West chooses George Bush and Taylor Swift to be in wedding party
- British tabloid releases first interview with Kate Middleton uterus
- 12 inch Jonas Brothers doll taller than 2 out of 3 Jonas Brothers
- EXTREME HOME HEADACHE: Ty Pennington‘s house inadvertently bulldozed