Susan Boyle's eyebrows sign separate record deal
BLACKBURN, SCOTLAND - Susan Boyle's eyebrows, who recently captured the world's attention on the British television show "Britain's Got Talent", have signed a lucrative record deal with U.S. music giant Interscope Records.
Interscope executives say they believe the world will see the Boyle eyebrows as bushier Scottish versions of the beloved Mary Kate and Ashley. The Interscope contract reportedly stipulates both eyebrows must be removed from Ms. Boyle to allow for a separate appearance schedule. Recording sessions are already planned for the eyebrows and a worldwide tour schedule is currently in development.
From her home in Blackburn Scotland, Ms. Boyle commented, “I am very happy for both of my eyebrows, Margaret and Caroline. In some ways this will be difficult because I am very attached to both of them. I am sure the separation will be painful at first.”
When asked if she plans to grow a new set of eyebrows the singer said, “Of course I could never completely replace Margaret and Caroline. But my publicist and agent say I should grow two smaller versions so I can pay homage to Margaret and Caroline without making them feel they have been replaced.”
- Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck hoping to fill publicity void.
- NASA celebrates 40th anniversary of faking moon landing
- Anderson Cooper struggles to make death of Bin Laden story more about himself
- Balloon Boy trapped in backyard mine shaft this week
- Instagram invests in photo modernization software
- "The Situation" to replace Wolf Blitzer