Michael Jackson 92% recyclable
LOS ANGELES – The LA County Coroner released autopsy results this week indicating Michael Jackson’s body is composed of 92% post-consumer goods. Throughout the iconic singer’s life, numerous plastic surgery procedures have replaced 92% of the human tissue with recyclable materials.
The Coroner’s office reportedly returned to the Jackson Family over 100 pounds of plastic, nylon, and silicone to the which was then placed in a curbside recycling bin outside Jackson’s Bel Air residence.
Neighbors reported seeing Joan Rivers sorting through the recyclable components and may have left with a chin implant and a pair of cheek implants.
- Fifth Third Loan Officer Thinks “To Catch a Predator” Is Really, Really Stupid
- Simon Cowell to leave Idol, demands custody of Ryan Seacrest
- Kim Kardashian wedding gifts donated to less fortunate attention whores
- America outraged by Miley Cyrus; slightly agitated by Syrian chemical massacre
- Chris Hansen not invited to Michael Jackson memorial service
- Royal baby’s scepter causing Kate pain during pregnancy