Janet Jackson’s breasts mourn privately during memorial service
LOS ANGELES - In a humble tribute to the deceased King of Pop, Janet Jackson’s breasts did not make an appearance. Ms. Jackson’s breasts remained unexposed throughout the entire Michael Jackson memorial service.
Since their surprise appearance at the 2004 Super Bowl, Ms. Jackson’s breasts have led a reclusive life protected by several layers of reinforced clothing.
As an added measure of security during the memorial service, the Jackson family security team ensured Justin Timberlake maintained a safe distance from Janet during her performance.
Janet’s breasts issued a statement thanking everyone for their support during this difficult time. They will be spending the next few weeks grieving with LaToya and Tito’s breasts.
- Walter White kills John Snow in shocking Game of Thrones finale
- Conan, Jay, Oprah, Ellen seek sex scandals to boost ratings
- Local man divorces wife to avoid seeing ‘New Moon’
- Nancy Grace offers six figure reward for capture of Jeff Ruby
- Adopted Jonas Brother often hidden from public
- Khloe Kardashian considers gender reassignment surgery to become a woman