Janet Jackson’s breasts mourn privately during memorial service
LOS ANGELES - In a humble tribute to the deceased King of Pop, Janet Jackson’s breasts did not make an appearance. Ms. Jackson’s breasts remained unexposed throughout the entire Michael Jackson memorial service.
Since their surprise appearance at the 2004 Super Bowl, Ms. Jackson’s breasts have led a reclusive life protected by several layers of reinforced clothing.
As an added measure of security during the memorial service, the Jackson family security team ensured Justin Timberlake maintained a safe distance from Janet during her performance.
Janet’s breasts issued a statement thanking everyone for their support during this difficult time. They will be spending the next few weeks grieving with LaToya and Tito’s breasts.
- Tila Tequila autobiography to include free copy of George Bush memoirs
- Adopted Jonas Brother often hidden from public
- Kings Island fire provides needed delousing for visiting Ludlow KY Boy Scout troop
- Imus not invited to annual CBS Pimps-N-Hos party
- Covington plans Lumeno-methlab celebration
- Stephen Hawking profoundly confused by hospital insurance forms