Janet Jackson’s breasts mourn privately during memorial service
LOS ANGELES - In a humble tribute to the deceased King of Pop, Janet Jackson’s breasts did not make an appearance. Ms. Jackson’s breasts remained unexposed throughout the entire Michael Jackson memorial service.
Since their surprise appearance at the 2004 Super Bowl, Ms. Jackson’s breasts have led a reclusive life protected by several layers of reinforced clothing.
As an added measure of security during the memorial service, the Jackson family security team ensured Justin Timberlake maintained a safe distance from Janet during her performance.
Janet’s breasts issued a statement thanking everyone for their support during this difficult time. They will be spending the next few weeks grieving with LaToya and Tito’s breasts.
- Andy Rooney’s family begs him to return to work
- WEBN fireworks entertain 450,000 people, 78.4 billion body lice
- Nancy Grace pleads with psychopaths to make this an interesting summer
- Local man divorces wife to avoid seeing ‘New Moon’
- George Clooney loses deposit on wedding reception chocolate fountain
- New Kids on the Block postpones reunion tour to accompany daughters at Jonas Brothers concert