Jackson World Funeral Tour Scheduled
LOS ANGELES - The massive crowds and coverage of the Michael Jackson memorial service have inspired promoters to schedule a full world tour. The Michael Jackson Funeral Tour ’09 will travel to over 170 stadiums, arenas and fairgrounds worldwide. There are four nights scheduled in London, Sydney, Beijing and New York, as well as one night stops in Dayton, Ohio, Turningstone Casino in Verona, New York, and a brief stop at the Beckham County fair in Beckham Oklahoma.
Concert promoters insist that Michael has never been more marketable, and are excited by the opportunity to take advantage of the adoring crowds. "If we've learned anything from Michael's memorial at the Staples Center, it's that people want more of Michael." explained tour manager Elliot Walker. “This is going to be the greatest funeral tour in the history of mankind. And best of all, there is no hospitality rider. Our staff isn’t going to be busy taking the brown M&M’s out of the bag for the star.”
The shows will feature Michael’s gold casket, along with various memorial singing acts and eulogies, all performed before excited crowds of screaming fans. Tickets will be priced from $75 balcony general admission to $1500 casket-side VIP seats, so close you might be able to offer condolences to a LaToya impersonator hired to travel with the tour.
The tour will also be heavily merchandised, with t-shirts, limited edition sequined gloves, and replicas of the casket featuring an engraved list of the tour stops.
- Bobby Brown lowers flags to half staff after running out of blow
- Shirley Temple fans who thought she was already dead grieve once more
- Chad Johnson refrains from booty pats during jail term
- That one soap opera guy still not retired
- George Takei promises to be greatest gay Japanese Oktoberfest Grand Marshall in world history
- DERF Studios presents the Shadow Hare Interview: Part 1 - Beyond the Spandex