Jon Cryer uses realistic wig to play Charlie Sheen role

LOS ANGELES, CA - In an effort to continue the run of Two and a Half Men, actor Jon Cryer has suggested the show continue with him playing the part of both main characters.

Cryer “First, you have to understand that I am a talented actor, and a true professional,” said Cryer. “Then, you have to understand that my agent has found a dead-on perfect Charlie Sheen wig that will make this role possibly for me.”

ABC executives have not commented on the idea, except to say that it is not unprecedented in the history of television. “Patty Duke did an excellent job playing the two leads in a sitcom,” pointed out ABC vice president Thomas Keller. “It fooled me for a long time. I kept wondering where they found such perfect identical cousins. What a crazy pair!”

Cryer insists that the show would work well with him starring in both roles, but is open to any ideas that would continue the show. “They could put me in a fat suit and I’ll play the kid too,” Cryer said. “Or they could even put a dress and a girl’s wig on me, and I could play one of the loose women that Charlie’s character chases. Then they could use special effects to film me in my Charlie wig making love to myself in my slut wig. I see at least another five years in this show.”