James Van Der Beek feels cold reality of another year without an Academy Award

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Responding to numerous requests for comment from Hollywood reporters, James Van Der Beek has stated that another year without an Academy Award has left him feeling cold and sad. The actor went on to say that his lack of an Oscar was almost as personally disappointing to him as Seth MacFarlane’s performance as host.

“I even borrowed money from Casey Affleck to rent a tux and went to the awards ceremony this year,” explained Van Der Beek. “I think that’s what makes this even more depressing. I was actually in the theatre, waiting through category after category for my name to finally be called. I was feeling so good going in there, especially after I got asked for an autograph on the red carpet. Although, they seemed pretty disappointed when they found out I wasn’t Zack from “Saved by the Bell.””

When asked why he attended the ceremony despite not having been nominated for an award, Van Der Beek explained that his agent thought it would be a good idea. “He said it would keep me in the public eye,” said James. “I got my hopes up when he said that maybe I would get a lot of write-in votes and that the lack of a nomination would not matter. I guess the good news is, at least I cashed a paycheck since the Academy used me as a seat filler.”

Van Der Beek’s chances of winning an Oscar were slightly elevated this year, as he did actually appear in a motion picture. “It was an uncredited role,” he said. “I was one of the dead Civil War soldiers in “Lincoln.” I thought I did a rather incredible job too, I didn’t move a muscle. Not one. Just sat there looking dead for hours, which is much harder than you would think.”

Despite facing the cold reality of another year without an Oscar, Van Der Beek remains upbeat for the future. “I have a lot of great projects in the works,” he explains. “The one I’m most excited about is where I play the lead character in a turn of the century period piece that takes place in a grand mansion next to a body of water. It’s called, ‘Downton Creek.’ I’m sure I won’t be disappointed again next year.”