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New Kids on the Block denied reservations at Lachey’s Bar

CINCINNATI, OH - Looking ahead to their 2015 tour stop in Cincinnati, members of New Kids on the Block have been making plans to make the most of their time in the Queen City. One stop on their to-do list, however, will not be checked off, as they have been denied the right to make reservations at Lachey’s Bar.


“We are shocked and disappointed,” said New Kid Danny Wood. “We were really hoping to settle in and let off some steam after the show in a cool, comfortable, boy-band friendly atmosphere. I guess just because the Lachey brothers opened the bar while being filmed for a TV show, they think they’re bigger than us. Well, I’d just like to point out that some members of our band have been on TV and in movies as well. I’d tell you how good they are, but I currently do not have enough money to afford a television.”


“I really am not sure what happened,” said Lachey’s Bar customer Amelia Walker. “I don’t think it would be a distraction to have them here. I can personally promise that I would not mob them and ask them for autographs. Although, I can’t promise that they would be left alone if I happened to come with my Mom that night.”


“This is part of a long string of bad luck with us and bars-restaurants,” said New Kids on the Block member Jordan Knight. “On our last tour, we had a two hour, 45 minute wait before we were seated at AJ McLean’s Backstreet Boy Gastropub, and our table was right next to the Men’s room, which really made me mad. Although, my brother Jonathan didn’t seem to mind. Then, we all got food poisoning from a bowl of fish dip at Lance Bass’ NSYNC Cafe.”


“There is no ill will toward New Kids on the Block,” explained Lachey’s Bar assistant director of celebrity operations Kristopher King. “We simply don’t accept reservations, whether you are the members of New Kids on the Block or just a bunch of random dudes in their mid 40’s. Or, in this case, both.”