Marchers in Secretly Gay Parade disappointed that everyone knows they're gay now.
NORTHSIDE - Organizers of the area's first Secretly Gay Parade recently failed in their promise to ensure no one would find out the thousands of parade marchers were gay. Gay marcher Michael Santos, who carried a large sign that said I'm secretly gay and proud, commented angrily to reporters, "I was promised complete anonymity but now everyone knows I'm gay." Disappointed marcher Peter Winchell who was unaware the event was televised said, "I have protected my gay secret for so long and now just because of one silly Secretly Gay Parade my cover is totally blown." Organizer Steven Rogers said, "We regret any pain this has caused all of the participants who were secretly gay. We certainly plan to offer all of these people assistance in making a successful transition to being secretly gay again."
- Introducing the award-winning Derf Happy Hour Doorman, Scooter Wellington
- Colony devastated in ant farm landslide.
- Coworkers tired of guy who boasts about memorizing US airport codes
- Local man coping with humiliation from poor response to Super Bowl party Evite invitation.
- US Air Force mistakenly drops two million Derf Happy Hour invitations over Iraq.
- Boy finally informs parents he is adopted.