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Train derailment declared most picturesque spot in Norwood

NORWOOD, OH - Though it caused power outages and extensive worries throughout the community, the Norwood train derailment has an upside. The site of the wreckage has just been named the most picturesque spot in Norwood.

“It brings a tear to my eye, really,” said Norwood public affairs director Jamie Calvert. “Look at the way the sun hits that metal and the way those abandoned Mountain Dew bottles all over the surrounding field frame up the wreckage. It’s like standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower, except in Norwood.”

The immediate impact of the picturesque train derailment is already being felt in Norwood. Real estate professionals say that property values began immediately increasing. “I just added a couple thousand dollars to most of my listings,” said real estate agent Sherri Angle. “And the ones that have an unobstructed view of the derailment are going to increase by at least 25%. We also have a new classification of a Norwood neighborhood, the TDA, which stands for Train Derailment Adjacent.”

In response to the general glee and happiness created by the new picturesque scene, Norwood city officials are seeking aid in preventing any further cleanup. “We are asking the state and federal authorities to declare this an historic scenic preserve,” said Norwood official David Suffolk. “It would be a shame to lose it. Especially since we’re already getting inquiries from couples who would like to get married here to use it as a beautiful and romantic backdrop.”