
Featured Local Event full calendar»
Wednesday, June 19th - 11:30 AM-10:00 PM
| Burgermania @ Tavern on the Hill |

DERF Happy Hour
Friday, Jun 28 - 5:30PM-9:30PM
| Mt. Lookout Tavern (MLT's), $10 for 10 Beers -OR- 6 Cocktails! |
Study indicates car accidents leading cause of dropped cell phone calls
WASHINGTON D.C. - Study results released by The Department of Transportation this week indicate car accidents often result in the additional misfortune of dropped cell phone calls.
Other regrettable aftermaths of car accidents include spilled coffee and smudged make-up. In one particularly unfortunate case a driver cleaning his handgun was killed when the weapon discharged due to a head on collision. In another incident, a collision caused a driver to wound herself in the face with a chop stick while eating chinese food.
A recent fateful collision destroyed an expensive clown make-up kit while the driver was applying make-up on the way to a birthday party appearance. Emergency responders said the make-up kit was reduced to an unrecognizable splatter of color but could have been salvaged if it had been buckled in. Clown industry officials say most clown make-up kits are not insured which makes it difficult for clowns to earn a living after a serious collision.
To prevent such unfortunate outcomes government officials urge drivers to avoid car accidents. Roger Stillman of the Ohio Insurance Institute commented, “The evidence strongly suggests incidents such as dropped cell phone calls are easily prevented when drivers strive to maintain a strong driving record.”
Train derailment declared most picturesque spot in Norwood
Escaped circus monkey revealed to be former News 5 Anchor Jack Atherton
Image of toaster appears on Virgin Mary painting
Cincinnati Zoo worker trapped inside Festival of Lights storage facility
STUDY RELEASED: 100% of U.S. new year’s resolutions broken by mid-morning on New Year's Day.
- Drunk residents of Brookstone apartments report Virgin Mary apparition in that electrical thing across the street.
- Family growing weary of Dad’s obsession with sarcasm
- Billions of Cicadas burrow eastward to avoid making debut on west side.
- Fireman uses Jaws of Life to trap Mother-in-law in car.
- America’s Migrant workers embrace 'Leave Your Child at Home Day'.
- Boss gets strange looks after telling workers he is in love with them





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