Drivers insulted by lower than actual speed readings.
CINCINATTI – A malfunctioning police speed indicator located in Mariemont has resulted in hurt feelings for residents this week due to a speed display erring slightly below the actual speed. At a community meeting residents such as Paul Nelson explained, “Why even bother speeding anymore if we’re going to continue seeing low numbers like this? We spend a lot of our income on high performance vehicles capable of much higher speeds than this machine is falsely indicating and we deserve an accurate read out.” Drivers throughout the community have voiced disappointment with the faulty equipment. Resident Charles Brewster said, “I’ve never driven that slow in my life. I put the effort into going considerably faster than other drivers and I deserve the credit.”
- OTR Violence: Hipsters get into hair-pulling fight over favorite craft beer
- Starbucks employee never makes new pot of coffee in break room
- Ribbon conservation leading concern among Americans
- Aftertaste of Blue Ash lasting longer than expected
- A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular
- Expiring gym membership relieves sedentary woman’s guilt