Clay Aiken's music turns iPod gay
Immediately after several songs by Clay Aiken, the popular American Idol star, were downloaded onto a local iPod, the iPod began to exhibit a conflicted database and processor struggle indicating it had turned gay. The owner of the iPod tried to return the converted gay item to the Apple Store in Kenwood Mall however Apple Store Manager, Kenneth Chavez believes the iPod may be experimenting. Some argue the iPod was manufactured as a gay unit however the owner feels the iPod showed no gay tendencies previously and clearly became gay after receiving several Clay Aiken songs. Attempts to counter the gay effect of the Clay Aiken songs with several Metallica songs only served to cause further internal processor turmoil.
- Local high school dropouts planning 10 year reunion of dropping out.
- Three apartment units reported missing at the Octagon Apartment building.
- Marchers in Secretly Gay Parade disappointed that everyone knows they're gay now.
- The Derf Magazine Worst of 2011 List
- Smiley Face admits long-term use of anti-depressant medications.
- Detroit looters inconvenienced by power outage.