New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- TriState road work to be confined to holiday weekends and rush hour
- Expiring gym membership relieves sedentary woman’s guilt
- Norwood celebrates 100 consecutive stabbing-free days
- Tragic loss - Billy Graham shot by Cincinnati Police Officer
- Men begin faking illness in anticipation of new Twilight movie
- UDF employee hypnotized by relentless hot dog rotation