New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular
- COMMUNITY: Volunteers build meth lab wheel chair ramp
- Local family plans annual Christmas tree hunting trip to Drug Emporium.
- Local man sets record low in charity date auction
- If I were a woman back in the old cowboy days I think I would have been a pretty good hooker.
- Disgruntled fraternity guy publishes secret handshake on internet.