New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Over-the-Rhine 'Stray Bullet Festival' disrupted by craft displays and food booths
- Son diligently prepares to take over family Sno Castle empire
- Deer decoy damaged in crash that caused death of pedestrian
- Children get Santa's attention with Powerpoint
- Semi-popular generic chain restaurant replaced by more popular generic chain restaurant
- Drunk drivers thank Enquirer for posting Friday checkpoints