New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- ABC concerned about depleted pool of celebrities for Dancing with the Stars
- Church step climbers disappointed by Purple People Bridge ads
- To improve view, Cincinnati plans giant mirror on banks of Ohio River.
- Amazon.com ironically not catching on amongst people of the Amazon.
- Area slut still feeling glow of Halloween self-esteem boost
- Saints arrange alcohol intervention for their friend Patrick