New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Drunk drivers thank Enquirer for posting Friday checkpoints
- All-Corian® house soon to be unveiled in Suburbs.
- Area hipster loses track of which clothing items are ironic
- Three apartment units reported missing at the Octagon Apartment building.
- Local man gives up O'Douls for lent
- Prom season disrupts teen drinking