New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Disgruntled fraternity guy publishes secret handshake on internet.
- Delhi Township finger population drops 20% after 4th of July
- DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
- Clermont County kicks off summer with “Leave Your Kid in a Hot Car Outside of Wal-Mart Fest”
- Red Cross worker wishes tornado victims would quit whining
- Inattentive husband develops sneaking suspicion he\'s divorced