New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Detroit looters inconvenienced by power outage.
- Dyslexic man performs Heimlich Maneuver backwards.
- Tragic loss - Billy Graham shot by Cincinnati Police Officer
- Area woman announces plans for all that junk, all that junk inside her trunk.
- Religious services held between church festivals
- Mystery witness from Widmer trial now claims to have information on Hyde Park goat head case