New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Man longs to be with friend Jessie's girlfriend.
- Detroit looters inconvenienced by power outage.
- Area slut still feeling glow of Halloween self-esteem boost
- Possum booth draws crowds at N. Kentucky's Oktoberfest
- Woman pretends to be offended by date’s over-willingness to divulge impressive income level
- Area hipster loses track of which clothing items are ironic