New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Alarming number of Cincinnatians find breathing easier during smog alerts.
- Local man coping with humiliation from poor response to Super Bowl party Evite invitation.
- Clay Aiken's music turns iPod gay
- Amazon.com ironically not catching on amongst people of the Amazon.
- If I were a woman back in the old cowboy days I think I would have been a pretty good hooker.
- Norwood neighborhood block party cancelled due to lack of neighborhood.