New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Buddy Helgenberger's closet chosen as site for Norwood's first public library .
- Dyslexic man performs Heimlich Maneuver backwards.
- Neighbors oppose Moeller High School plans for new sports stadium.
- All-Corian® house soon to be unveiled in Suburbs.
- Colony devastated in ant farm landslide.
- Cincinnati Zoo objects to neighboring 'Festival of Crack Pipes'