New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- "A Day with Robbie Knievel" still least popular Make-A-Wish Foundation wish
- Escaped circus monkey revealed to be former News 5 Anchor Jack Atherton
- Saints arrange alcohol intervention for their friend Patrick
- Couple hires Personal Shoplifter
- Tragic mixup - Area woman asks for Botox but receives buttocks
- Cincinnati public schools report math scores lower by like around 10% which is more or less about the same as around 10 out of every 100 or so.