New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Man proud to be the guy who hands you a paper towel in the nightclub bathroom so you don't have to go to all the trouble of getting one from the dispenser yourself.
- 11% of Cincinnati teachers can read.
- Where were you when the Brickyard closed?
- Saints arrange alcohol intervention for their friend Patrick
- Boss gets strange looks after telling workers he is in love with them
- Fireman uses Jaws of Life to trap Mother-in-law in car.