New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Tsunami epicenter discovered inside Donald Trump's combover.
- Northside S.W.A.T. standoff ends in fabulous S.W.A.T. dance off
- Cincinnati Zoo objects to neighboring 'Festival of Crack Pipes'
- Newport family reunion convenient opportunity for drug intervention.
- Public copes with epidemic of news stories about heroin epidemic
- Expiring gym membership relieves sedentary woman’s guilt