New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Boy finally informs parents he is adopted.
- "A Day with Robbie Knievel" still least popular Make-A-Wish Foundation wish
- Cincinnati Zoo objects to neighboring 'Festival of Crack Pipes'
- Gay man admits to being a Congressman
- Introducing the award-winning Derf Happy Hour Doorman, Scooter Wellington
- Area woman announces plans for all that junk, all that junk inside her trunk.