New Pope's Things To Do List
1. Take a nap.
2. Send thank you card to Campaign
3. Visit BMV and get Popemobile
registered to Joe Ratzinger.
4. Place order for official Pope hat.
5. Vow to crush Islam
6. Develop own line of Potpourri
7. Quickly look up definition of the word
8. Fire several Cardinals to establish
9. See about getting Onstar on
10. Consider Mark Burnett's offer for Pope
- Couple plans breakup in January, 2009
- Smiley Face admits long-term use of anti-depressant medications.
- Introducing the award-winning Derf Happy Hour Doorman, Scooter Wellington
- Corpse found wrapped in KEEP AMERICA BEAUTIFUL banner
- Detroit looters inconvenienced by power outage.
- Dyslexic man performs Heimlich Maneuver backwards.