Club Clau more profitable as crack house.
Cincinnati, OH - Recently closed downtown night spot Club Clau has finally become profitable as local crack dealers transform the once over-hyped and struggling business into a thriving crack enterprise. Now rated amongst the top 10 crack houses in the country by Conde Nast Magazine, local crack addicts are delighted with the notoriety. The former club's VIP area goes largely unused just as it did in the original Club Clau. There is usually not a wait line to get into the crack house which is a significant difference from Club Clau's long wait line which was usually created artificially to make the club appear more popular.
- Men begin faking illness in anticipation of new Twilight movie
- A cable channel that only airs episodes of Walker Texas Ranger would probably be really popular
- Soldier's reunion with spouse triggers post domestic stress syndrome
- Drunk residents of Brookstone apartments report Virgin Mary apparition in that electrical thing across the street.
- Former Bengal Cheerleader Sarah Jones asks media to respect her privacy while she looks for reality TV deal
- Saints arrange alcohol intervention for their friend Patrick