Epcot's Iraq exhibit not yet safe for visitors
ORLANDO, FLA - Disney executives have delayed the opening of the new Epcot Iraq exhibit as US Troops struggle to secure the embattled amusement park. The realistic likeness of the war torn Iraq has triggered insurgents to mount a series of deadly attacks as part of a full scale resistance effort. Adding to the problems in the amusement park, government officials have launched an investigation into allegations that several Disney characters have tormented and humiliated Iraqi prisoners inside the full scale replica of the Abu Graibe prison. In support of the troops at Epcot many Americans have purchased the popular Support Our Troops at Epcot ribbon available at Disney's online store for $1.99.
- Scientists successfully breed first wheel-dog
- Non-salesman actually purchases Ford Taurus
- Norwood neighborhood block party cancelled due to lack of neighborhood.
- UDF employee hypnotized by relentless hot dog rotation
- Mt. Lookout resident unable to attend next Derf Happy Hour due to hair appointment
- Marchers in Secretly Gay Parade disappointed that everyone knows they're gay now.