Cincinnati Public School student showed up this week.
The Cincinnati Public School District kicked off the 2003/04 school season this week by opening it's doors to a student. Seventh grader Peter Soren represents 100% of the attending student population to date and has already been nominated to receive this year's coveted Attendance Award.
- Drivers insulted by lower than actual speed readings.
- DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
- God Appeared at Crossroads Community Church hoping it was still a hardware store.
- Cincinnati public schools report math scores lower by like around 10% which is more or less about the same as around 10 out of every 100 or so.
- US Air Force mistakenly drops two million Derf Happy Hour invitations over Iraq.
- Drunk residents of Brookstone apartments report Virgin Mary apparition in that electrical thing across the street.