Gay couples prepare for marital equality: Life sentence of dispassionate boredom
CINCINNATI - Sociologists expect soon-to-be gay newlyweds to begin mirroring marital dissatisfaction similar to that expressed by the majority of straight couples. Experts project most gay newlweds will begin expressing overwhelming feelings of marital regret.
Government studies focused on exisiting gay marriages surprisingly indicate most gays feel their marriage is a torturous state of painful repetition. This close parallel with the attitudes of most straight couples has led many gays to question why they fought so aggressively to legalize gay marriage.
"We failed to learn from straight couples." Said gay newlywed Adam Haas. Unhappy in his recent marriage to David May, Haas commented, "We've tried everything including marriage counseling but we are still unhappy just like all of our married straight friends. We feel, at this point, actively pursuing the legalization of gay divorce is our best option."
- Derf writers agree only the most maladjusted, immature, and dysfunctional people will enjoy this article
- Judge Tracy Hunter Halloween costumes hot this year
- Man postpones alcohol rehab until end of Party in the Park season.
- Prediction of world's end updated to sometime in next 4000 years
- No Surprise - Report Says Drunks At Teller's Slightly More Polite Than Drunks At Arthur's.
- Dyslexic man performs Heimlich Maneuver backwards.