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Tuesday, May 21st - 6:00 PM-2:30 AM
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DERF Happy Hour
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Alarming number of Cincinnatians find breathing easier during smog alerts.
Growing accustomed to continuous smog alerts, many local residents prefer smog alert conditions and are reporting difficulty breathing during non-smog alert periods. Dr. Matthew Furman says it is possible for human lungs to become dependent on the high level of smog that normally exists in Cincinnati. "This breathing difficulty is likely a withdrawal symptom to smog." Walnut Hills resident Howard Stillman finds non-smog alert conditions to be intolerable. Stillman commented, "During the non-smog alert periods, just the mere mention of a smog alert makes me breath easier. I would prefer if we were in permanent smog alert status." For people who suffer from extreme difficulty during non-smog alert periods, Dr. Furman recommends smoking cigarettes as a temporary measure of relief.
Escaped circus monkey revealed to be former News 5 Anchor Jack Atherton
Image of toaster appears on Virgin Mary painting
Cincinnati Zoo worker trapped inside Festival of Lights storage facility
STUDY RELEASED: 100% of U.S. new year’s resolutions broken by mid-morning on New Year's Day.
OTR residents scoff at unhip Hyde Park flasher
- Tragic mixup - Area woman asks for Botox but receives buttocks
- Amazon.com ironically not catching on amongst people of the Amazon.
- Area slut still feeling glow of Halloween self-esteem boost
- Derf writers agree only the most maladjusted, immature, and dysfunctional people will enjoy this article
- Prediction of world's end updated to sometime in next 4000 years
- Red Cross worker wishes tornado victims would quit whining





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