DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
DerfMagazine employees celebrated this week when the Food and Drug Administration released it's study regarding DerfMagazine's long-term devastating effect on the human urology and gastrointestinal systems. "We are off to a great start." said Derf CEO, Trevor Billingsworth. "From here, things can only get better...neurological disorders, macular degeneration, skin deterioration. I can't wait!" The FDA also stated Popeye's Chicken on the corner of Madison and Edwards is the only business known to pose a greater threat to human health.
- Drivers insulted by lower than actual speed readings.
- Norwood neighborhood block party cancelled due to lack of neighborhood.
- Introducing the award-winning Derf Happy Hour Doorman, Scooter Wellington
- Avian flu transmitted via Twitter
- 11% of Cincinnati teachers can read.
- Local family plans annual Christmas tree hunting trip to Drug Emporium.