DerfMagazine proven to cause more adult-bedwetting and high-pressure vomiting than other websites.
DerfMagazine employees celebrated this week when the Food and Drug Administration released it's study regarding DerfMagazine's long-term devastating effect on the human urology and gastrointestinal systems. "We are off to a great start." said Derf CEO, Trevor Billingsworth. "From here, things can only get better...neurological disorders, macular degeneration, skin deterioration. I can't wait!" The FDA also stated Popeye's Chicken on the corner of Madison and Edwards is the only business known to pose a greater threat to human health.
- Jiffy Lube expands car consultation to include comprehensive life coaching
- Drunk residents of Brookstone apartments report Virgin Mary apparition in that electrical thing across the street.
- Mexican brothels now safer than pig farms
- 11% of Cincinnati teachers can read.
- Norwood celebrates 100 consecutive stabbing-free days
- Smiley Face admits long-term use of anti-depressant medications.