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RELATIONSHIPS: Male-Female Friends…Really?

By Katie Michaels, DERF Relationship Advice Columnist

I’ve recently found myself single again…but I have 3 or 4 guys ready to just devour me…and some of them are my ex’s friends…or, at least, supposed to be! Even some of my male friends…trying to “put the moves on me”, if you will.

One of these guys admittedly has a girlfriend, calls me, shows up where I am, and is all over me like bees on honey (well, he tries to be, anyway)! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told him that I’m ok with hanging out and being friends, but that’s it. It’s like they’re coming out of the woodwork…just incredible!

Sadly, though, not one of them is doing a thing for me. Yes, it could be that I’m just not ready to put myself back out there again. I mean, they’re all attractive…I don’t know. There’s a lot to be said for just talking and becoming friends first…that’s much more appealing to me than, “Hey, baby, how you doin’?” Come on, ladies…back me up here. I think we can all agree that we do like it, at times, for our guy to be “all over us”…but reread what I just wrote…”our guy.”

We like it when we’re in a real relationship, when we feel comfortable enough to get wild and adventurous in the bedroom…not when we first meet you, and you immediately try to stick your tongue down our throats. What are we, in 8th grade? Guys, I have to ask…do you really think we don’t see right through you…do you reallythink we aren’t on to your game? Come on…give us a little more credit…and shame on you for trying.

Is it really that crazy of a concept to “just be friends” with a girl? Are we giving you too much credit? Are you truly not capable? How would your buddy feel if he knew what you were doing behind his back…especially since, more often than not, serious relationships that seem to be over, find a way of being mended and wind up becoming stronger than ever… And to all of our male friends…by the way, we really do just see you as a friend…sorry. Why embarrass yourself trying to put the moves on us? Do you really think we’re that desperate for sex?

I (remember, just newly out of a very serious relationship) have no desire to jump back into the frying pan…especially for some meaningless romp. We’re older and wiser now, aren’t we? We are the 20-something and 30-something crowd…not the “college-let’s-party-like-a-rock-star” crowd…time to grow up, don’t you think? Unfortunately, guys, this is mainly directed to you. You may think your “irresistibility”is going to last forever. But guess what? You’re not getting any younger…and those beer guts, quite frankly, are forcing us into the arms of younger men that actually take care of themselves. Girls, and guys too, if you dare…write me with questions or comments.