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Katie Vs. Men - So you think it's love? We'll see...

So you think it's love? We'll see...
by Katie Michaels, DERF Relationship Columnist

It's not as difficult of a question to answer as you might think. Fortunately, today is your lucky day, because, of course, you know I am here to help you see through the fog and make your lives easier! Why else do you all continue to read my articles? Katie is smarter than she looks. Not all blondes are intellectually disabled. On the other hand though, am I really a blonde??? Only my boyfriend and I will ever know...

So, what is love? First off, let me start by explaining a huge misconception. Love is not just those warm, fuzzy feelings. Love is an action. Here's a quick, simple grammar review. Pick out the noun and the verb in the sentence, "I love you." "I" is the noun, and "love" is the verb. Verbs show action, correct? So, any 2nd-grader can tell you that love is, in fact, an action. As adults though, we tend to forget the basics in so many areas of our lives. We unwittingly try to make things more complicated than they need to be. We over-think, over-analyze, dissect, rethink, question, second-guess, put our practical spin on it, rethink again...ugh, it's a vicious cycle!

Please do not misinterpret - you obviously have to have feelings of love, desire, passion, friendship, etc...in a relationship. To love, though, you choose to do something about those feelings, and to jump when you aren't sure what's below.

Love is not just thinking she's hot, but that she's beautiful, inside and out. Love is calling her back when she hangs up on you. Love is holding her while she sleeps, even though you're burning up. Love is still wanting each other first thing in the morning when you both have bed-hair and morning breath. Love is acting goofy together, even when people are watching. Love is holding her hand, even when you're with your boys. Love is letting each other see the best and the worst of each other. Love is trusting each other enough to tell things you might even be ashamed of. Love is feeling comfortable. Love is still getting butterflies when he walks into the room.

Love is choosing to accept it all - the good, the bad, the out-of-the-ordinary, the incredible, the ugly, the realization that you've never felt this way about anyone else, ever, and you may never feel this way again...because you just can't get that person out of your head, and especially not out of your heart. It's loving that person because of who they are, the things they do, and how they try, knowing imperfections are along for the ride.

If you can't get through an entire day without thinking about that one person, then maybe what you're feeling is genuine love. But maybe not. Maybe you have an obsessive or desperate personality. Maybe it's simple infatuation similar to what 12 year olds feel.

Maybe it's love. Maybe not. I honestly don't know if there is any way you can really tell for sure. But I do know this: With experience, confidence, and honesty you will get closer to the right answer with every relationship you enter into. So in the end it is less about knowing exactly what love is and more about knowing yourself.