Mexican brothels now safer than pig farms
MEXICO CITY - Following reports of swine flu linked to Mexico, in depth analysis has determined that Mexican brothels are less harmful to visitors than pig farms. Experts from the United States Center for Disease Control and the World Health Organization conducted weeks of research before announcing their findings.
Mexican government officials praised the report. Official tourism spokesman Mario Sandoval stated, “We thank all of the visitors from foreign lands who are visiting us at this time. Should you have any concerns about health issues in the country of Mexico, rest assured that you can always remain healthy by taking sanctuary in the nearest brothel.”
Mexican prostitutes were also thrilled by the news. “This should be very good for business,” said a young woman going by the name Peaches Caliente. “I am guessing the many tour buses that would normally go visit the pig farms will now come to see us instead.”
CDC spokesman Harold McDowell warned that visitors to Mexico could still be putting themselves at risk, but added, “I guess if you are going to go there, you would be much better off in a brothel than at a pig farm. Unless its one of those brothels that also has farm animals in it. You know, the kind where they dress up pigs and goats and sheep in lingerie. I’ve heard they have those. I can’t personally confirm they exist but that’s what someone told me.”
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