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Starbucks employee never makes new pot of coffee in break room

CINCINNATI - Starbucks employee Jason Spelling is becoming notorious among his coworkers for his habit of not making fresh coffee in the employee break room.  Despite numerous notes and requests, Jason has continued this rude behavior.

The notes began as friendly general reminders that all employees should be considerate in their use of the break room coffee pot.  The latest note specifically says, “Jason, please don’t be a jerk and leave the pot empty again” followed by a drawing of a frownie face.

“We all suspected it was him,” laments assistant manager Kristi Eiler. “He’d always take his break at noon, and soon after that we’d inevitably get a whiff of burnt coffee crud coming from the break room.  He’d just stand there like he did nothing wrong, going about his business making macchiatos.”

Other employees were more sympathetic.  “I don’t ever make coffee in there either.” explained barista Shannon Ellison.  “I make coffee all day, why would I want to do it on break?  But then again, I don’t drink it either.  Just the thought of coffee makes me throw up in my mouth a little.”

Jason concedes that his behavior may not have been proper, but offers no apologies.  “Look, I’ve given this place six months of the prime of my life, so I’m not gonna bust any grapes when I’m not on the clock.  Our break room coffee isn’t even that good.  I think we use that Wallingford service.  They should get off my back and figure out who’s whizzing on the seat in the employee bathroom.”

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