TriState road work to be confined to holiday weekends and rush hour
CINCINNATI, OH - Transportation officials have been so encouraged by the resounding success of conducting extensive road work during Memorial Day weekend that they have decided to make it standard procedure. From now on, all road construction will take place during heavily travelled holiday weekends and during rush hour.
“When you find a good thing, stick with it,” said transportation spokesman Howard Everett. “Having our construction take place when there are plenty of people on the road works out great on many levels. For example, it gives more people the opportunity to see just how hard we’re working, as they slowly drive by and perhaps stop next to us while we’re doing it.”
Officials may consider expanding construction shifts beyond these times. They are also considering implementing swing shifts of traffic work that would commence on areas around downtown one to two hours before and after Reds games. There is also consideration of some summer shifts that would take place in the same time frame before and after concerts at Riverbend Music Center.
Other plans include shifts on roads outside of churches that would take place before and after services, repaving of roads before, during and after holiday parades, and a complete overhaul of all roads, bridges and downtown streets to take place on Labor Day Weekend before the fireworks.
- Former Bengal Cheerleader Sarah Jones asks media to respect her privacy while she looks for reality TV deal
- Alarming number of Cincinnatians find breathing easier during smog alerts.
- Epcot's Iraq exhibit not yet safe for visitors
- Marchers in Secretly Gay Parade disappointed that everyone knows they're gay now.
- Coworkers tired of guy who boasts about memorizing US airport codes
- Uglier daughter never included in family pictures.