Local man probably has best body at Deer Cross Apartments pool
BLUE ASH, OH - After surveying his fellow pool-goers during the summer pool season, Kyle Huber has determined that his body is most likely the best that has been seen at the Deer Cross Apartments pool.
“I spent a lot of time earlier this year preparing,” said the proud Mr. Huber. “Looks like all of those supplements, protein shakes, and abdominal crunches during the winter really paid off. The tanning didn't hurt either.” Although the opinion that Huber has the best body is strictly his own at this point, Huber believes if others at the pool were polled they would agree. "I'm so buff and well tanned right now it would be hard for anyone to disagree."
Huber lives and works out at his parents house a few minutes away from the Deer Cross Apartments. After a disappointing summer last year at another local complex, he decided to make Deer Cross his sunbathing home. “At the pool I went to last year, a lot of dudes looked like a cover model on Men's Fitness magazine,” Kyle complained. “It really wasn’t fair, so I started scouting out some new complexes.”
“I thought I had a contender to my title earlier in the year,” Huber reflected. “There were three or four pretty buff dudes at the pool in June. Luckily, I found out they were college kids who didn’t actually live in the complex, so I anonymously called the cops and had them kicked out. Since I don't live here either I did some stomach crunches while hiding in the restrooms while the cops were here.”
- Derf writers agree only the most maladjusted, immature, and dysfunctional people will enjoy this article
- Tsunami epicenter discovered inside Donald Trump's combover.
- Starbucks employee never makes new pot of coffee in break room
- Study indicates car accidents leading cause of dropped cell phone calls
- Newport family reunion convenient opportunity for drug intervention.
- Local high school dropouts planning 10 year reunion of dropping out.