Scientists successfully breed first wheel-dog
ATLANTA, GA - Scientists have announced the first significant upgrade to the canine population in centuries after finally perfecting the long awaited wheel-dog. Anxious consumers are already placing orders to be among the first to own one.
“The wheel-dog will go down in history as one of man’s greatest improvements to the pet market,” said head research scientist Martin Gibson. “It absolutely crushes the pot-bellied pig and the sugar glider.”
“The dog has long been known as man’s best friend,” proclaims the wheel-dog marketing head Avery Dugan. “Well, man’s best friend just got a fresh set of wheels.”
Scientists are now turning their attention to other combinations of pet and machine. Soon to be in the works are the jet-dog, the rudder-dog, and the swiffer-dog. Rumors also abound that there will soon be a cat that can also be used as a fire extinguisher.
Though the new wheel-dogs are exciting, they do need to be trained in order to be completely successful and functional. “They might spend a little too much time chasing their own spokes,” said Gibson. “And they also need to be trained on how to set their wheel brakes for when they want to sit up. Or mate.”
- Area woman announces plans for all that junk, all that junk inside her trunk.
- Cincinnati public schools report math scores lower by like around 10% which is more or less about the same as around 10 out of every 100 or so.
- Prediction of world's end updated to sometime in next 4000 years
- Non-salesman actually purchases Ford Taurus
- Subtitled movie thoughtlessly shown during illiteracy conference.
- Deer decoy damaged in crash that caused death of pedestrian